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Friday, June 2, 2017

THROWBACK zaman muda

Assalam hai :)

amaran: post kali ni banyak angkat bakul sendiri.heh. 


Salam ramadhan. dia mmg macam ni setiap kali nak belajar. (tengah minggu study week), asal bukak laptop je menerawang kat tempat lain. dahlah semalam tengok citer magnificient century sampai pagii!! tak belajar!! nak exam! tak belajar!! shhhh. jangan bagitahu bos besar taw. hekhekhek. Skang ni  mula-mula youtube tengok lagu cintan cintun lama2 dulu. layan geisha, letto, sakura band, hujan. dah terkenang kenang pulak. Pastu fesbukkk. tengok gambar lama2 zaman kurus melidi. baca komen kawan2 lama. haa dah sebakk. sebab makin besau ada yg dh dengan haluan masing2. makin jauh. ada yang dh lost contact terus.


RINDU ZAMAN KEGEMILANGAN. zaman  muda remaja. zaman baru nak naik. zaman baru nak ke dunia baru. zaman bermacam zaman. heh. zaman yang aku nak cakap ni masa umur aku 13 sampailah 15 tahun. aku rasa kalau aku tak masuk ke sbp mungkin zaman kegemilangan tu lebih panjang sampai 17? haha mungkin. papepun takdir Allah itu Indah. makin besar makin kita face realtiti yang kadang2 perit dan pahit untuk telan dan lalui.

13 tahun - 15 tahun. (2009-2011)


Masa range umur ni. hidup bagaikan dalam novel/drama. Sometime I really cannot brain how my life cannn bee so much like dalam cerita novel yang kalau skang kita baca sangat la rasa tah pape dan tak logik. Tapi dalam "drama" ni aku bukan la budak yang baik pun. Agak nakal dan mcm sombong sikitla. belagak pon ada. hm apa lagi eh. senang citer banyak sifat yg tak baik waktu ni. tapi skang dah takla, alhamdulillah berubah  , sebab tu org kata biar dari kecik dh jahat jangan besau baru nak jadi sheton. kehkeh. bak abang aku sendiri kata aku ni mcm ketua perempuan jahat macam dalam movie yang ada geng2 tu. Acah2 mean girl ataupun macam novel ainmasarah the wannababes. haa sampai mcm tu sekali pandangan seorang abang terhadap adiknya.


Abang akulah cakap tapi pandangan kawan2 aku baik sikit kod. 😅 sikit. sebabkan aku ni jenis arrogant bitchy bitchy gedik sikit. so haters pon banyakla kan. EVEN aku tak kenal pon siapa haters tu anddd kalauuu duluuuu even though kita ada haters tapi tak sampai tahap teruklah macam terasa bullied ke depression. NO. Tak rasa langsung. Maybe sebab masa tu aku sangatlah ignorant and bold  macam malas nak heran apa orang cakap. (God I wish Ive that kind of boldness nowwww) . and masa zaman tu orang kalau benci pun benci macam tujelah. takde usik2 ke takde panggil geng suruh benci sekali ke apa. 2 benda yang palinggg akuuuu ingat haters buat kat aku.

1. dia ni orang yang aku kenal. a senior. setahun je pon tua. aku tak ingat dia cakap apa tpi lepas dia bebel tu dia cakap nak report kat mak aku. kah! report?! ingat lut la report tu.

2. aku tak kenal langsung dia ni. again a senior. setahun jugak beza. kelakar. dia suruh kawan aku kirim salam maut kat aku depan aku. dulu kan femes kim salam maut bagai ni. no chill betul.

and both girls ok. fact: they hate me even  I done nothing to them. thats why Iolls tak amek port kalau nak memcik2 ni. such a waste.


masa zaman ni jugak semangat setiakawan tu tinggi. takde kes khianat. tikam belakang. maybe ada tapi  macam benda tu boleh settle asap. ouh aku jenis jarang nak masuk geng gossip umpat umpat ni. kalau kena topik semasa macam benda tu kena kat aku yee akuu canangg sembang bagai mak bedah tapi kalau mcm benda tu aku tak nampak and dengar2 dari org aku dengar saje jela. tak involves sgt. the best part masa celebration my 15th birthday.boleh dikatakan hampir semua my bff datang. they planned it and celebrate kat secret recipe. ada dalam blog ni aku pernah tulis. diorg bawa banyak gila kamera macam gheetisss pon ada and my friend buat video of it. sweet gila. terharuuu gilaaaaaaa. mcm sgt5 appreciate la. bayangkan masa 15 dah rasa benda2 tu sebab tu budak2 skang baru nak up kek balloon suprise partyy kat IG smua iolls tak heran sgt sebab dh pernah lalui. Alhamdulillah. classmates pon best sporting smua. walaupun kelas budak pandai tpi tak totally nerd  dan gila2 sikit. paling gila kawan aku dan tak trkecuali aku.


ouhhhhhhhhhhhh haihh the best partttt nak citer zaman puppy love. zaman suka yang betul suka. zaman banyak peminat. HAHA. panas pipi tetiba . kat mana nak mula erk. terus terang aku ni takdelah cantik pon. selekeh . hitammmm capuk2 (sebab selalu terdedah dgn panas dulu). aku pun sendiri tak tahu aku ni cerah ke gelap. sbb masa tadika mcm amoi anak cino. dh besar dh mcm combee lak. boleh dikatakan ramai la suka aku tapi yang sama umur awal2 aku dh reject sebab nak mngelakkan kes sailang antara kwn2. *kawan2 iolls ramai yang hot2.aku selebet. and aku mmg tak gemar sangat sama umur ni. sebab dh mcm member2. awaaaaalllllllll lagi masuk sekolah menengah dah ada yang mngintai. masa tu kau akan dikira hot famous bila form5 nak tackle kau without kau yg tergedik dtg kat dia.  zaman aku tu pulak form 4 dengan form 5 dia hensem2 belakaaaa woiii. masa tu aku ingat lagi kawan aku ada crush FORM 6 . kitorg jalan kat koridor then terserempak. so, aku mcm takdelah nak menonjolkan diri sebab crush member bukan crush aku. lepas crush dia berlalu dia pukul aku.

BFF : haahhh dia pandang kau!!*merengek
me: ehh mana kau tahu. kau bukan pandang dia
BFF: i can seee he look at your name tag!. ekor mata.

*nametag aku nama A.INSYIRAH. aku pernah post pasal masalah nametag aku ni.
sejak itu aku akan jalan blakang sikit dari bff aku supaya dia lebih menonjol butttt  then later i jadi kwn dgn crush my bff ni sebab he add me on fb and like2 komen2 and rpt sbb his friend like me. masa tu baru berlalu zaman myspace. we start using fesshhbukk.

Cerita aku pulak macam ni FORM5>AKU>FORM4 . the end. haha. haih kalau danial ada lagi ni dia dah bahan aku sebab cerita benda2 ni. Sampai sekarang aku tak faham dan tak tahu kenapa dan macam mana boleh orang suka aku sedangkan aku dah lah tak cantik and macam aku tekankan dari awal perangai aku pun takdelah semnggah mana. nak kata sebab personaliti? entahlah.

\\SUKA pulak bukan suka yang macam suka tahpape tu. suka yang betul betul dan sgt5. suka sampai ada yang terkorban. suka sampai ada yang mngundur diri. suka sampai ada yang terluka. dan masa ni terpampang jelas kifarah tu berlaku dalam sekelip mata. Apa yang kita buat kat orang akan back balik kat kita. walaupun dah 8 tahun berlalu,  dua orang (E&C) yg involve dalam hidup aku masa ni sangat mmberi kesan dan pengajaran seumur hidup aku. terima kasih :) end up masing2 bahagia dengan pilihan sendiri.  :)

Saturday, April 15, 2017

TakdirNya yang terindah 1


Allah. Sesungguhnya pertemuan aku dengan seseorang yang istimewanya sifatnya buat aku menangis semahunya. Bukan menangis kerana sedih dan kasihan tetapi aku menangis kerana kau telah menunjukkan aku jawapan kepada doa2ku serta kau telah memakbulkannya. Terima kasih Allah kau telah menyusun atur perjalanan aku ini.

apa senjata seseorang muslim itu?

Doa.


Jawapan yang aku dapat pada hari ini, bukan drpada doa2 ku untuk hari ni, 3 hari lepas mahupun 3 minggu lepas tetapi 4-5 tahun lepas!!!!

I asked for strength....
And ALLAH gave me difficulties to make me strong...
I asked for wisdom...
And Allah gave me problems to solve...
I asked for courage...
And Allah gave me obstacle to overcome...
I asked for love...
And Allah gave me troubled people to help...
I asked for favours...
And Allah gave me opportunities...
“Maybe I received nothing I wanted, but I received everything I needed”


Allah tahu apa yg terbaik and He will grant it not when we wish but when we needed.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

The littlest things

have you ever just grateful to have someone *generally, family.friends. who remember all the littlest things that youu really5 love to do..


it hve been days that I really cravingg STEAMBOATTT. the me type selagi tak dapat benda yang craving selagi tula susah nak makan benda lain. 2 hari tak makan pon takpe..sebab kalau makan pun jadi mual...lagi bertambah teruk kalau tgh datang bulan. wajib kena laksanakan craving or badan terus jadi sakit dan mual yang sgtla teruk. thankyouuu guyssss melaksanakan makan2 ni.hehe. I really5 do appreciate it. at least this make me  feeling less bitter for wht ve happened this un fun week.

thankyou for those yang concern pasal perpindahan ke rumah sewa too. its such a sweet deed that you guys wanna help to carried our stuff without even asking!! macam tahu2 je tengah pening psl brg keperluan lagi.. RIP money,,,for this week. all cash sedebuk in a day. mmg sakit. mula2 ingt nak pakai khidmat je then few friends tawarkan diri nak help rasa ringan sikit kepala.  at least, less money bab servis ni. terharu gila bila diorg kata apa guna kawan. huhu. nila org kata kawan yg akan muncul bila tengah susah. bila dunia tengah tunggang terbalik. ceh. hiperbola. Alhamdulillah for that kind of friends. my dad akan datang bersama brg2 keperluan lain but I xnkla susahkan org tua bab nak angkut and agihkan brg ,.coz after all this timeee....takde org lain yg buat accept my dad...kesian ayah saya...at least masa my dad dtg all dh setup tinggal dia letak tilam je.hihi. forever be my king and my beloved hero.nilah perkara perkara kecil yang boleh mmbahagiakan orang...make me happy....
tapi bila buat baik ni it take few people to realise it.... ada org buat baik 1000 kali pun org tak nampak tapi sekali dia shaitonnnn selamanya akan dicap shaitonnn..thats human.




skang tgh viral psl a couple sewa limo. nak rasa sweet ke apa ke tu pendpt masing2. nk kata mmbazir ke tu duit lelaki tu. sukatila kan nak buat pe. maybe duit dah bergunung sgt smpai xtaw nak watpe so pi sewa limo,hoho.bagi pndpt ikhlas aku perkara yang sweet tu benda2 kecil yang orang lain tak nampak bertapa bermaknanya perkara kecil tu kat  kita melainkan org yang sayangkan kita..... sebab org yang syg kita nila akan nampak benda yg org lain xnmpk kat kita. so dr situ kita tahuuu dia betul2 sygkan kita. cthnya benda cliche la aku suka makan. org yg rpt or syg mesti tahu aku suka and they give me  food..hahha nak bonus sayang++ diorg bagi fav food. ada banyak lagi contoh lain tapi kena rahsiala! tak special kalau semua tahu. :p something about me I realised  Im not someone yg kebendaan . bukan nak be proud ke apa or whtever u thinking, alhamdulillah my parent ajar I a great lesson about "kebendaan". Although asal dr family yg boleh je nak dpt apa yg kau nak tapi my dad still teach me how to get it but in a hard way and yes of course u kena always pray to Allah utk minta apa yg kau nak dan apa yg kau dh ada sekarang. :)

nah aku tinggal 1 lagi fav lagu ost love rosie .huhu. lagu takde kaitan dengan cerita.

Dreams, dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
And it seems, it seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right, but it seems unfair
The things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?


Alone again (Naturally)

I just love this song

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will throw myself off
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it's like When you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Were people saying, My God, that's tough
She stood him up
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about, God in His mercy
Oh, if he really does exist
Why did he desert me
In my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally
It seems to me that
There are more hearts broken in the world
That can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do
What do we do
Alone again, naturally
Looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start
With a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally

Thursday, June 23, 2016

2 am

its 2 am in the morning now.....
still awakee...study+dying.
esok exam statistic....hope tak macam comp archi tadi. menangis tengok soalan. terrible gila. statistic=math=and i doesnt into math sgt....and my course basic are MATH+PROGRAMMING.
course InfoSec ...whyyyyyyyyyyy.hahaha. dalam byk2 upu yang bersuaian dngan pointer aku kt matrik kenapa aku dpt InfoSec T_T. sumpah down gila. dengan programming ke laut, math lagi ler. kadang2 kita merancang Allah yang tentukan...I always remind myself Allah the best planner.... the perfect Life Designer..benda jadi mesti ada sebabb..tapiii how i wish i know the reason nowww than later....or years after now. ni macam kes masuk sekolah sains. sigh. suka belajar sains tapi ....... hmm.  I love learning machine...computer..software but passion tak tinggi sangat mcm org yang betul do the programming. hadap computer for hours...coding T_T . rasa macam tak fit enough. tak tahu nak cakap kat siapa dah sbb semua org punya pndpt to me is too cliche and tak open up my mind sgt... or Im beingg too ignorant. haha. Im the type yang rela/ lebih suka tulis karangan full smpai 10 muka surat pon takpe asalkan NO MATH/NUMBERING. but whyyy I always dpt yg contra from my passion. T_T My lect ckp if u think it doesnt fit u are still early to backout but I dont think I can be able to do that...thats wayyyyyy too easyyy. and im not that kind of person. I kinda love risking my life as it make life more colourful, adventure and experience-full. So, rene.... u must willingly proceed and u just gotta be extra kental ! remember BABAH and MAMA always.

bebelan malam. kuatkan semangat sendiri. since beginning mmg kita tak boleh harapkan orang lain utk motivate diri unless you yourself :) - lect kimia KMM

Monday, June 20, 2016

Define Arina


Assalamualaikum hai selamat pagi :)

Act ppagi dh grumpy sikit sebab org kacau aku sleep............ memcik tau. dhla diz week mmg tidur like 2-3 hours. btw, now kitorg tgh final. doakanlah kami dpt jawab dgn baik. flying colours githu. yeah final tula tidur ke laut sikit, dia punya tak tenang tu lain mcm . mata panda jgn ckplaaaaaaaa.

What is Arina?
A mixture of Aris+Muslina=Soft+Rough=Kind+Naughty=Patience+Temper

if u know what i mean

What Arina love the most?
People buying her food.LOL

What Arina hate the most?
People disturbing her basic needs. Such as sleeping&eating time.

What is Arina FAV hobby?
hm. eat read sleep

In a GREAT food relationship with
Shawerma *currently FAV after breaking up with mee tarik

Why Arina is gettin fat?
because she eat more but less exercise ,she realise it but whos care.HAHA

When will Arina be the 47kg Arina back?
a second moment when she saw her body goals then back to 5xkg Arina, So I bet it take a longggg time to go. In Sha Allah but not promise 47 . Too far farrrrr awayyy to catch up. but thats not impossible.

What Arina love to do when nobody around?
singing.meheeheehe


What is Arina should do now?
Sleeping


okbai










Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Countless pain

Assalamualaikum hai :)


today my body, my teeth and my head was shocked with the news that I will undergo a mini surgery , Teeth implantation. I was totally restless and very unready with everything. act more to unready to bear the pain.


something like this

restless

memandangkan minggu ni minggu presentation , minggu projek..so busy banyak , kurang rest... paling awal tidur pukul 2, lewat after subuh. so semalam, I sleep like after subuh as I ve to monitor my group utk prepare presentation hari ni. 


Appointment

So, I went to my appointment like usual . I ingt hari ni buat checkup biasaaaaa....who knowsss kena implant pulak as the other the doctor said implant crowning apa semua buat after habis RCT. Im still undergo  RCT sebab gigi yg mati tu too manyyyyy... 1 gigi pun makan masa sejam lebih. 

dr : So, arina today we will do a mini surgery. Implantation.. pasang tu pasang ni.. bla bla bla *banyak sangat yg di cakapnyaaa.haha. tapi yg aku ingat... akan sakit sikit bila suntik kat gusi ni, weve done it before right?   okay, tapi bila suntik kat lelangit ni sakit banyak.

me : gulp. suntik gusi bagi aku pun sakit banyak......lelangit yang dia kata sakit banyak ni? kau rasa??????? haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.stweessss. but I always remind myself whenever Im feeling down with the pain Ive been through with this " Allah choose you for reasons. Allah know u can bear with everything. Its okay Arina this will make you more stronger. "


frankly, air mata sakit tu mngalir masa suntik kat lelangit....memang sakit BANYAK sangat. suntik gusi aku dh biasa, so macam boleh tahan sikit...lelangit ni perh......itu baru permulaan.......

selepas beberapa seketika after pmbedahan..

MA : kenapa muka tu dah sedih dik? memang sakit, tpi tahan ya..muka tu dh okay dr dulu cuma parut2 nanti kita elokkan lagi.. kalau cucuk gusi pakai jari pun sakit, suntik...belah dengan pisau apatah lagi...

me : hell yeahhhh!!!!! hahahaha it is soo sakit. so dont make me talk.  Im just kidding , I cakap dlm hati je..luaran angguk2....kesan ubat bius dh makin hilang..so rasa sakit tu sgtla bertambah tambah sampai naik ke kepala.  

dr : ouh so insyirah ( dr mmg kejap panggil arina kejap panggil insyirah) parut ni dh matang ni did u do anything about it?

me : yeah i sapu the dermatic and pakai pelekat tu. I think its already fine than before.

dr : ye tapi I think next appointment nak suntik je bagi hilang terus but u kena tahan sikit okay? you know how much pain it is..yea?

me : okayyyy..... my dr sgt perfectionist ..kalau boleh rasa nak buat pembedahan plastik trus bagi semua flaw kat muka ni hilang.hoho. aku dh redha dah segala parut yg ada...kat muka, kat hati. cettt.


keluar dari bilik doktor , there is my infinity love..my dad... Im forever blessed to Allah because everytime Im in so much pain , my family always be there for me. Family is surely everything.... Infinity lovee..and my backbone... No love can defeat the power of love between blood. and whatever happen..family will always choose to trust you.despite how naughty and stubborn you are. Thank you Allah for this life and love of my life :)