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Friday, April 15, 2016

selamat tinggal sahabatku


sometime I think I ve to stop blogging.
but blogging is everything to mee...I love blogging so much till now
but since 2015 its changed a lil bit...
Its making me upset and automatically I cryyyy

why?

I start blogging 2010. masa tu I form 2. I have a friend :) I meant it.just Friend. karate kang kalau u guys pikir bukan2. Nama dia Ahmad Danial bin Ibrahim. He's 3 years older than me. My senior during school. I kenal pon sebab he was my ex punya friend kenal time jamuan raya then more further dalam facebook sebab dia pakai gambar patrick. and berbalas perlian kat twitter? i guess? cth perli yang paling I ingt dia cakap

"orang yg private akaun twitter ni dia letak no pin bank ke mcm mana"

dia perli sebab dia terunfollow i and malu nak follow balik.hahaha sakai.macam tulah I tak brpa ingt. we become closer sebab passion yg sama in writing and reading? then dh close I dunno why I ajak dia buat blog. masa tu zaman blog mcm femes gakla time tula irine up, FL up.  haa so kita pon nak up kononn. hahaha. macam blog ni to us a good thingla sebab dia pon rajin post ,and I mcm relieves la sebab I yg ajak dia buat blog then he use it really well. then , I ajak dia buat akaun nuffnang pulakk..nak jana pendapatan ! in end of month, we both laughhh as our income is MYR0.45 !!! sebulannn 0.45 kauu! ado?! haha. how can orang dapat 1K. haih. need more traffic. unusual punya traffic mcm vivy yusof ka. huu my Icon .

dia jugaklah jadi pengomen tegar blog arinainsyirah niii. haha. kalau ada yg komen tapi anonymous I will know it is him! cara dia perli komen ke respon ke mmg I familiar gila. he also rajin buat kad every blog anniversary. kira kitorg kenal sama baya atau lebih dengan blog ni 5 years lebih..so dah 3 tahun kenal tu , dia ada cakaplah my penulisan dah makin matang. alhamdulillah. We always text. we really closed but nobody knows as we're just connecting in virtual life. we never met. ye walau satu sekolah.walau satu taman. until the 5th yearssss  tu pon I yg suggest we met kat kedai mamak tepi rumah kami, (bukan gatai tapi hati I macam suruh kitorg jumpa at that time n at least talk a little. yeah dia duduk depan taman I je. haha. tu PONNNN we just met for like 5 minutes or lesss??? sebab he was too shyy. seriously dia tersangatlah pemalu tapi dalam msg dia tembak kau berdass dass macam apa je.hahahah.


He really5 a great friend. Masa I sekolah asrama, sometimes after call parent the only friend I call dia. sebab I dunno he's such a good company and listener and great in advising, ayat tak tapis direct..kalau salah is salah.so kita akan comfort with org macam tu..I remember the first time we otp, awkward gila and he has such a nice voice, he should be a singer. luls. dah makin besar I realised that we're soo soo closed, so I cakap kat dia we should kurangkan texting and so on what we've done. sebab friends tak buat macam tu..*THATSSSS AMONG STUPID THING IVE DECIDED. so, dia akur and sometimes je kitorg msg, and kadang2 dia call. happy and surprise at the same time tpi sekejap jela ats dasar term "kawan" tu. sometimes I text him sbb nak tanya what should I continue after this. sains komp okay tak? sebab he took sains komp too. dia cakap okay tapi utk perempuan leceh sikit. okayy nowww I FAHAMMM APA YANG LECEH TUUU hahahah as now rezeki I dapat sambung degree in comp sc. tapi now I dah takde dia to share my leceh pengalaman......its too late and now he's gone like forever. i dh mcm org tak betul depan laptop ni sometimes smile and cry...but sokayy sape je awake 4:21 in the morning.


After habis matrikulasi, I sometimes msg sbb nak bagitahu what I apply for upu. Dah terbiasa tell him every event in my life. then dia okayla. one thing about danial, he never replies me late. paling lambat sejam. tu i realize. One day, I tanya dia something about computer or internet or something about website. ni I pm dia kat fb. we decided to keep traditionally pm fb macam awal2 kenal bila urgent je  use whatsapp. coz he's aware that I xsuka be seen online kat whatsapp. okay sambung, I tanya thenn it took a longgg time for him to reply. I masa tu fikir maybe dia merajuk of something but Im clueless tapi memang tak fikir apa2 yang buruk. One dayyy.. after I drove back from work, I saw someone exactly like him! moto saiz badan warna kulit! sama! cuma I kena fokus memandu sebab jalan sesak , then balik I terus bukak fb I pm dia. kau kat kesuma ke? but again ...it took a longgg time for him to reply.  again. i tak fikir pape yg buruk. and Im wonder whyy I tak whatsapp dia terus? till now soalan tu mcm lingering in my minds. if I whatsapp dia. I will the know the story earlier.......


ramadhan yang terakhir 2015...

whatsapp from mama : Adik, Danial Ibrahim meninggal dunia . *I baca msg tu awal pagi but I macam who's danial ibrahim? sbb kdg2 my mom mmg suka cakap pasal org yg I tak kenal

after berbuka puasa tengah kemas dapur, mama tekankan lagi..adik danial meninggal coz my mom tahu I rapat dengan danial. mesti dia pelik i mcm act like nothing is wrong. I tnya mama "siapa tu?" I totally lupa his nameee. yee i mmg susah ingt nama org ni! danial! itss danial! ya Allah! I terus berlari naik atas letak pinggan semua yg tak habis basuh nak pergi ambil fon I nak whatsapp danial , I nak call dia. I nak dgr suara dia and wishing he is NOT the danial that my mom cakap... yang already passed away..


dailing....

me : helo danial??

his side : tsk tsk....suara perempuan nangis

me : poppy??? (adik danial tapi tua setahun dr aku.senior aku gakla) mana danial? nak ckp dgn dia

his side : abang dah meninggal siang tadi.

me : .................hanya Allah yg mngerti perasaan masa tu. I cry a lot..tears non stop till now kalau i teringat pon I akan nangis.

aku dalam dilema, I wanna go his house right now. tapi malam tu malam raya and i dh balik kampung and how im supposed nak patah balik . it took me 5 days till I boleh visit his family. the 5th day of raya, I plan nak kluar with my friend tpi trbatal last min, and I drove lalu kawasan perkuburan. I tengok dari luar je...dari tepi jalan as I dunno the right way utk masuk laluan ke kubur tu. I dunno which one his grave. and my attire macam tak sesuai kalau I nak cari pun kuburnya..*kebaya*. so, I directly drove to his house. bagi salam, mak dia mcm x expecting guest ofcoz I pon dtg mngejut.. luckily my mom cikgu yg femes dari mak dia ragu2 nak bagi I masuk dgr anak cikgu mus baru dia mcm okay sikit.haha. Mula2 I boleh kawal lagi semua perasaan, I kena kuat sebab skang I berhadapan dgn his mom, his family...soo diorg lagi sedih atas apa yg terjadi but after sembang2 dengan mak dia and bila I tahu punca kematian lagi I rasa sedih sampai I dah tak boleh kawal , tambah2 his family share byk pic of him, so lagi i teringat ingat n I tewas dengan emosi. I menangis... his mom hugged me and we cry together... she doesn't know danial kwan rapat dengan anak cikgu mus! yeah like I said earlier not everyone knows...we never show anything related....

punca kematian kecing tikus. when and where?? masa dia ke lwatan perkampungan asli di perak.* he tolddd me before he go!! T_T   ada sungai but dia tak mandi, dia just basahkan muka...several days lepas balik dia rasa tak sedap badan and lambat pergi checkup.. but he was okay..like seriously okayy a day before he passed away....his mom told me and show his pic...tapi Allah lebih mnyayanginya..too young to die but ni semua takdir. pergi pulak dalam bulan yg mulia..bulan Ramadhan. Semoga Allah menempatkan mu di kalangan mereka yg beriman sahabat. kami di sini mndoakanmu. Although you're not here but your presence still lingering still. Al-Fatihah Ahmad Danial bin Ibrahim.

















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